5.08.2012

On real life...


There are a lot of things that we miss about living in Buffalo- the Mr. Cool truck is one of them. Today is one of those days where I wish we could wander around Albright-Knox, grab lunch at The Falafel Bar, check out what's going on at WNYBAC, pick up groceries at Guercio's, and head back out for a late-night beer at Ulrich's. Buffalo is an interesting contrast to the (occasionally deafening) quiet of our place here in Owego. I've written before (here and here) about the challenges of moving from a city that we loved to the rural area where I grew up. At the end of this month, it'll be three years and yet, for me (and me only), this continues to be a struggle. Don't get me wrong, I feel lucky to spend so much time with my babes, being near family is almost always positive, reconnecting with old friends has been fabulous, being able to work from home is great, and I love our house and working on renovation projects. So what's my freaking deal?! I'm having a hard time articulating exactly what it is, but what I do know is that I feel endlessly restless. That feeling is nothing new for me- it's one of the reasons I moved away years ago...and kept moving. I had always thought that that sort of 'grass is always greener' mentality was driving me to do bigger and better things but, frankly, it can also be exhausting. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. Maybe you do? If so, I encourage you to read these posts by Jess, Jenny, Ez, Erin, Rena, and Nichole. The point of my post today? To let you know that you're not alone and to remind everyone (including myself) that this space is typically me at my best, but not my all.

8 comments:

gretchen said...

Funny, you want to get back to Buffalo, for "bigger", and I want to for "smaller." I grew up there and wanted to escape and get to a big city. At first it was NYC and now I have been in Chicago for 20 years - and love it. But, the thought of family close by, good schools, affordable housing, great restaurants, music and art all in a smaller package with really friendly people, is what makes me yearn for the Queen City!

wandering said...

Thank you for posting this. This really hit home with me.

chris said...

This sort of catch-22 has been on my mind a lot lately. We don't yet own a house, but in talking about the future we yearn for a little house with a big barn out back, a garden, chickens, a little land - but we also want to be in the city. Can't have both, but what do we want more? And once you choose one, do you ever get over the loss of the other? It's tough.

Rachael, Pistachio Press said...

I have to constantly remind myself that blogging is not real life. Unless you happen to be Dooce, and probably not even then. It's impossible to not edit yourself (myself) online. Who wants to admit that life isn't perfect, that sometimes things are shitty, that the grass seems greener elsewhere? I feel you and I can totally relate to the restlessness. Thanks for sharing those links. I need to sit down and really read them through.

Tv Food and Drink said...

Ah, nice post. let's hear for "my best" but not "my all" the way I live my life every day.

kristin said...

Aw thanks for posting this, Abbey. I feel a similar restlessness but it's more about my office job - I never minded it so much until I realized I was more creative than I thought I was, and now it's becoming suffocating. We'll see what happens...

sara mansfield said...

Abbey, thx for the post & the links (Jenny just helped me slash & burn my Google Reader!). i know what you mean about feeling grateful and happy day to day, but feeling uneasy, too...and then feeling weird for feeling uneasy. Restlessness? maybe...or a worry about future regrets, a concern about being left out of something. i think it's a problem for many creative types...esp. those with varied interests and skills...esp. with the internet to look at. you are inspiring (at least when you're 'at your best') b/c you seem to be putting together the best of many worlds, even if it seems quiet now.

A Beautiful Party said...

Thank you for this post. I feel the same way as I am moving into the getting married and buying a house phase in my life. I always thought I would live in a big city and have this crazy life. I'm happy but I still wonder what if... I am now going to read the links you posted and feel like I am in good company.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...