
My mother-in-law loves a good bargain which may explain why, several years ago, I received a half dozen pairs of thong underwear ranging in size from XS to XXL. My theory about thongs: 1) you either wear them or you don't, and 2) it's never OK for your mother-in-law to give them to you as a genuine birthday gift (no, not even if they're leopard print). I don't wear them and I don't particularly like to receive them as gifts. Nothing says 'you have a huge ass' like a pair of 2XL thong underwear from your mother-in-law, right? I'm only recounting this because my in-laws came to dinner this weekend. Not only is my mother-in-law a bargain shopper, she's also a birthday hounder. It typically starts about six months before your birthday, "What do you want for your birthday? What do you want for your birthday? You look like you're getting sick, hon! What do you want for your birthday?". My birthday is next month, so the hounding was in full effect, with the threat of underwear as a gift being a real possibility. I want to be left alone...but, barring that from happening, I do not want any thong underwear.
*hilarious card from up up creative